Wednesday, April 27, 2011's a complicated thing

hello..hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

i believe that this Easter was the most meaningful one for me in a very long time.
lots has happened since last Easter 2010.
to put it in nephew christopher who had down's syndrome also developed leukemia and past away last year, march 30th. he died right before Easter.
 {i was going to dedicate a blog post solely to him and perhaps in the near future i will...but right now i can't} 

this year my church embarked on a program to regenerate.
 it is kinda like lent where you give something up during the 40 days before Easter. I grew up catholic so this resonated with me. Everyday we had a bible passage from psalms to read, then we would pray and reflect.

I decided to give up shopping..i tried that on for a bit and realized that i needed to set limits and boundaries for myself...because it was so hard..i feel ridiculous admitting it because it makes me feel very hard can it be to stop shopping right? for me it was {i am ashamed to admit}
so i decided that i was not going to buy anything personal like items of clothing or jewelry or shoes or purses all of which i love....i'd love to say that i was able to accomplish it but i succumbed one day while i was out to lunch with a friend and she needed to go to Target...i as a good friend accompanied her...and as we were walking in the store I realized

 "how does a girl who is trying not to shop end up at Target..looking at the clothes!"

easier said than done...and so i walked out with a dress..a cute summer dress...
and i discovered that for me it meant shopping trips to Target were going to be exclusively for essentials!
a few times i strolled through the clothes aisles and made myself walk away, the next couple of visits i didn't even stop. I had decided that it was more important for me to follow through with my promise than to buy an article of clothing.

 i learned a lot about myself and now that my forty days have passed
i thought i would have this need to go shopping and buy myself something.  Yesterday I took a trip to TJ Maxx, one of my favorite stores, and bought a few things that we needed like a mirror for the boys restroom {so they can actually see themselves while they brush their teeth}, a new pizza cutter {my very old one broke}, a new pair of oven mitts, and a small cross for display in my kitchen.
 I would say the cross was the one thing i bought for myself that i did not need.
 I had a blouse in my cart that i eventually put back...i couldn't do it, not yet at least.

the gardener's cottage has been one of the reason's why i decided to take on this challenge.
 she has a segment on stopping shopping which really got me to thinking of my own ways.

am i filling a need with shopping?

does that dress or pair of shoes make me feel better?

as for now, i will look at my closet and start to clean it out, simplify.
 i am even thinking about taking this challenge:

1. No shopping for non-essentials for one season
2. No new clothes, handbags, shoes, jewelery
3. Nothing new for the house (knickknacks, kitchen tools, accessories, etc.)
4. No new beauty items
5. Purchasing gifts for others will be allowed

before i start i will need to clean out my closet and inventory what i already have.
i feel that God is speaking to me and asking me to look at what matters...

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